Thursday, February 26, 2015

New Changes

Happy Thursday everyone!

I just wanted to let you know of some changes coming up for the blog.  I just changed the title of the blog.  Also from now there will be weekly updates by the end of the day on Sundays and I may post more often if the mood strikes.  


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Love Your Life

Hello again loved readers,

I have been away for three months "living life" as I have come to like to describe it as.  Actually a friend of mine described my situation this way and it instantly put a positive perspective on what I have been going through.  It inspired me to write a three part series of love: love your life, love your body and love yourself.  I decided that without these types of love in your life you are at risk for spinning off precariously and no one wants that.

I want to spare you the gory details but to sum it up I met someone and we made grand plans to move in together. I decided to jump in whole-heartedly with both feet and hope for the best.   I was divorced from my first boyfriend/first love about 7 years ago and this was the first time I chose to risk it all and open up to someone since then.  Even though I did not know this person long at all, we had a great connection and great chemistry, it felt right in my heart.  It quickly went down in flames as the Taylor Swift song says.

At first I beat myself up for putting myself in the situation and not paying attention to the warning signs that the relationship was heading down an unhealthy road.  However, regardless of whether it was a mistake or I stayed too long, overall it was a positive experience.  I learned a ton about myself, my inner strength, life and relationships through having gone through this.  I realized that every experience I have had and decisions I have made good and bad have shaped me and and my life in exactly the way it was intended to be.  Every person that has entered my life came for a reason to show or teach me something.  Once I looked back on my life this way as a big story and not a series of mistakes I suddenly saw things clearly and with absolutely no regrets.  I could see exactly where I started, the distance my path has come, the turns and detours along the way and for the first time where I it is headed.

                                                  Image result for love life quotes tumblr

I talk about life this way because even though I have heard all the cliches and inspirational quotes and kind words, nothing impacted me more than making the decision to "love my life" as a whole, all the good and especially the bad.  When things were bad, when I felt like I had truly hit rock bottom and I couldn't believe this horrible thing had happened to me, I realized that at least I was alive to feel the pain and I was living my life.  I wasn't sitting at home watching "Real Housewives", scared to take any chances or leave the comfort of my cave.  I had taken a chance because for the first time I felt completely in love.  I knew for this love to have a fighting chance I had to take this risk.  None of us can predict the future.  It didn't work out the way I had thought it would but it has allowed me to have absolutely no regrets.  It is one of those hard things; like loving your enemies or the flaws in your body.  Just as those things are hard loving your mistakes and disappointments is so rewarding.  To be able to see them as ultimately good and with a purpose will set you free.  You will stop beating yourself up and you will move in the direction of being free spirited and happy in your core, through your eyes where everyone sees it.

Let go, let God and love the crazy-unpredictable-clumsy-loving-confusing-ugly and awesomely-good mess that is your life.  It is beautiful, special and full of unique purpose specific to you.

Please check back often for new posts, I plan to post at least once a week, and hopefully more frequently than that.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Give Those Thanks

One thing I have come to love and appreciate about life is how beautifully unexpected it can be.

I've been looking at my life and myself a lot differently lately.  There are a lot of big changes happening for me right now.  I've been desperately wanting to talk about it but I had no idea where to start.  I saw this article and it definitely pointed me in the right direction.  I instantly realized that the anxiety I was feeling and pressure I was putting on myself wasn't about the big events happening to me, it was about my attitude towards them.

Some people love change, they thrive on it.  Others hate it and avoid it at all cost.  I have always loved change and mixing things up just for the sake of it.  Any kind of change in my life used to fill me with this excitement and joy for the future.  It was my way to really dig into what makes me happy and know deep down I was getting closer and closer to it.  However, lately it is completely throwing me off my game.  I have been in the same place geographically, professionally and personally for longer than usual and I didn't realize how much I had settled into that rut in my life.  It was scary how comfortable I had gotten with just coasting along.  I have been ecstatic about the awesome things that have happened in my life the past couple months, but even though I am happy I still find myself being fearful  and restless about the future.  This is new for me because I used to face life challenges fearlessly; I guess the younger you are the more invincible you feel.  The truth is I think we view the world as younger people the way we are always meant to view the world - with confidence and an almost childlike innocence and optimism.  Over time negative life experiences start to tear away at our superhero capes and we find ourselves feeling the way I have felt these past couple months.

Until recently I thought my learned "realism" and cautiousness about the future was good because it was protecting me.  Now I realize how oppressive, hindering and negative it is.  From what did I think I was protecting myself ? New experiences, fun, awesome feelings, new opportunities and learning more about myself? Yea, that sounds pretty terrible! 

Thanksgiving is my absolute most favorite holiday.  With it almost here....change is what I am most thankful for.

Oh - and one last little nugget of advice and challenge for the holidays.  Every day until Christmas, get creative with what you are thankful for.  There are so many things beyond the obvious we forget.  Today I am thankful for stolen moments caused by my incredibly slow phone and computer--at least I have them.  In that time they are slow, it gives me a couple more minutes to be calm and reflect on the day.

I have one last thought that poked my heart today.  The lady who makes my sandwiches at the hospital I work for asked if I was ready for Thanksgiving.  I said, "Yes, as much as I will be."  I asked her if she was also and she said, "Yes, well my husband passed away 4 months ago so it will be the first holiday without him." Luckily she will be spending it with a close friend with whom she is now living.  It was unexpected for me to hear that and it quickly reminded me of all I really have and how none of it is guaranteed forever.  Please keep this quote close to you this holiday season:


Give a stranger a smile, it might be the only sunshine he sees all day.


Friday, October 17, 2014

Elegance in Simplicity

Happy Friday! I have been on writing overload since I started school again.  Between mass emailing at work and writing 15 page papers my fingers sometimes do not want to type one more word.

However, we always seem to find room for the things we love.


I had a conversation last night that really opened my eyes to something.  We were up late discussing work and I made the point that it seemed like the more money you made the easier your job was (most of the time, of course there are exceptions--doctors, attorney's and CEO's come to mind).  I was referring to the fact that as I move further along in my nursing education I will get to move to the more "cushy" side of the nursing world.  Yes, more responsibility can be stressful but you don't have to do all the grunt work.  I won't be physically running my butt off every day and having to deal with unpleasant smells, sites and situations.

I then began to reminisce about the days I waited tables, how I actually did enjoy it but felt a little sorry for the people I worked with who did that full time.  I guess I have a limited perspective.  It was quickly pointed out to me that a lot of the time those people are the best at what they do and actually love it.  In a second I realized how true that was, I have always said people should choose do what they love no matter the money they will make.  Half our lives are taken up by our jobs, life is to short to spend that time hating what you do.  It kills your soul a little.

I then began thinking about people in my family and how circumstances have happened to cause them to end up in a career they despise.  I think back on how much differently their life, mine and everyone around them would have been had they chosen a career that brought them happiness and meaning.  Happiness or negativity have such a profound effect on our health and emotional state, and in addition the health and emotional state of those around us.


To me the idea of simplifying your life has such a broader context beyond career choice.  It applies to everything in our lives: our diets, our exercise routines, our relationships, and our lifestyles.  It was interesting to me too because just before I had this conversation I was thinking how complicated I had allowed my life to become by allowing certain people into it.  When I moved to Houston from Austin over three years ago I had to start over.  I am very accepting of people and did not discriminate at all with new friends.  It was okay for awhile but the end result was a lot of needless stress and drama that I could have avoided completely.  You know what they say about hindsight.  I am going to see how far I can take this simplicity thing, and what kind of effect it does have on my life.

So, I am taking an inventory now and am becoming more aware of the areas in my life that could use a simplicity overhaul.  I know for sure the steps I have made to this point have already made me feel significantly more clear and purposeful.  It's a nice feeling.

As my favorite author and poet once stated, "Our life is frittered away by detail.  Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!" -Henry David Thoreau

Healthy weekly recipe:

6 Decadent (But Healthy!) Chia Seed Dessert Recipes

Chia Pudding with Kiwi and Pomegranate Seeds
Place 3 tbsp of chia seeds in a mason jar and pour 12 oz of almond milk over them. Shake the jar until the chia seeds are fully immersed in the liquid. Let it sit for 15 minutes. Once seeds have swelled to a tapioca consistency, stir in 1 tsp of coconut sugar. Pour into a serving bowl and top with chopped kiwi fruit and pomegranate seeds.

Have a simply beautiful weekend!

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Authenticity is Sexy

                                                          me makeover / sfgirlbybay

The definition of being authentic is synonymous with genuineness.  My question today is that in our society of social etiquette and political correctness do people even know how to be genuine anymore?

When I say being authentic I mean being true to yourself regardless of how others will perceive you.  I recently, by some fun luck, met someone who reminded me how great it is to just be who you are.  It reminded me of my younger and less jaded self when I didn't care how I was perceived.  I found out then that either people loved me or they didn't.  The people that did stuck around and are still in my life.  The people that didn't I was better off without.  The best thing about the old me is that is when I was the happiest.  I was being naively true to myself no matter what, and it was awesome.  That girl used to be a tomboy who wore shirts two sizes two small from Goodwill, torn jeans and converse.  I was quirky and happy and I didn't care who it annoyed.  I was eclectic and I loved living in a dumpie apartment and doing what I loved..waiting tables and nursing.  I loved dying my hair and getting my ears pierced and learning guitar.  That was me.  The truth is, it's not easy.  It's easy as a younger person when we are carefree.  It get's more difficult and vulnerable as we get older.  Experience is a double edged sword that way.  We have to keep trying though, we have to fight against the urge to conform to something or someone we aren't.  Settling for anything.  NEVER settle.  I became way too preoccupied with society and what society wanted from me.  That's when I lost myself.  Today I say screw it.  I miss that carefree happy girl.  Every challenge I have been through has taught me a lot.  Most of all it showed me I want to be that girl again.  I know that will never happen, when things happen in life it does change you.  You can never go back.  BUT you can a better, smarter and improved version of that person you remember.  That is your essence, it's there.  It was meant to be expanded upon.

I couldn't even be saying this if it wasn't for the amazing close people that haven't been afraid to be mirrors to me.  They were not afraid to be real with me.  It's rare to find people that call your stuff out.  So when you find them, keep them around.  They are priceless.  BE one of those people too.  The truth is love, love is God and God is truth.  Other real people will listen and respect it.  That is awesome.  I have less than a handful of them but thankful for each and every one.  You know who you are!

We are our most sexy, awesome and desirable selves when we are true to ourselves.  People dig that s***.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Love Notes

We all want it.  Few of us find it.  Even fewer hang onto it.

I want to talk about something interesting.  I didn't know what but once I started writing I knew my inspired fingers would crank something out.  Right now they just want to ask a lot of questions.

You have to ask the questions, then live the questions and sometimes the answers still don't come.  That's what life is about: questioning, experimenting, and learning.  Ultimately that leads to growth, at least I think that's the way it works.  Let's do this.

How do you know when you are in love? How do you know that person loves you? How do you know they are the person meant for you? Is there more than one person that can be meant for you?

Some people never find true romantic love but they find love in other places.  Or they do find it but lose it and hold that memory for the rest of their lives.  Maybe it was unrequited love (boy do I hate that term!).  People are so complicated and the feeling and expression of love is even more complicated if possible.  It's a human emotion but there is something somewhat mystical or spiritual about it too.  It's like humans want to feel in control when they feel it, even though it is something evasive that we feel has been granted to us.  From my experience feeling in love is when I feel the least in control.  I feel like it is happening to me and I am along for the ride.

I don't have the answers to my questions, I know what I know up to this point.  I know each time I have fallen in love it has been a uniquely different experience and I have learned a lot about myself.  I have my definite favorite memory of love, or maybe a favorite person that I shared it with (more accurate).  Do we ever really know how someone feels about us? I think we do.  But I think that is the true gift of hindsight.  I think in the moment it's harder to know.  I think there is more than one person we can be happy with.  But I do feel everyone has a "favorite," I like that word for love.  Favorite.

My last thought is if two people are lucky enough to find love, they should do everything they can to not fail it.  We all have faults and flaws and no one is perfect together all the time.  It's easy to walk away if love is not there.  If it you are lucky enough to share it with someone, make it work.  Don't fail love if it blesses you with it's presence.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Am I Jealous? No Dah-ling Just Territorial....

I happened across the following quote recently and it really got me thinking.


Beware of the gratuitous quotes in this entry.  I liked the color and they are just so well said, I couldn't help it!
This quote caused a lot of feelings for me.  I've had some recent relationships where if I were to ask a question about a female friend of my significant other or express a concern about certain boundaries being crossed, it is usually met with the accusation that I am overreacting and being jealous.  For the most part I have a good perspective and am emotionally stable, so I felt like this was unfair and inaccurate for my boyfriends to make me feel this way.  When I read this quote a wave of relief washed over me because it exactly put into words how I had been feeling for so long.  What is so wrong with protecting whats yours anyway? There are definitely women out there who get satisfaction and enjoyment from stealing other women's men.  They don't abide by girl code.  I have experienced it multiple times as I'm sure most women have.  We do have to stand up for ourselves and our relationships sometimes and protect them from people who want to interfere and break them up.  For one I always make a conscious effort to respect those relationships and boundaries.  This is probably why I have never had many male friends that were strictly just friends.  Can men and women ever just be friends? I will write more on that topic later.  Back to my point, it always flatters me when my boyfriends express slight jealousy for me.  This is why:


On that same note a little jealousy is healthy if the relationship is strong.  It is born from love and is a basic human emotion.  The problem arises and it gets out of control when the other person or your own irrational fear makes you feel like that person would be more fulfilled by someone else instead of you.  When the jealousy starts becoming unhealthy and causing damage to the relationship, then it's time to take another look at what's really going on and where the real problem lies.  Something is definitely broken at that point.  If you find it early it can still be fixed.  Just like intimacy I feel like the amount of jealousy happening in a relationship is a huge indicator for the relationship status.  I do feel it is a late sign though, once it gets out of control things can unravel quickly, very quickly.

Let me leave you with one last quote that pretty perfectly sums it all up for me:


So don't be afraid of some salt in moderation.  Cheers my dears it's Friday!